Every Day I See You..."
by amandakingluvsscarecrow
Summary: This is a Song Fiction part of the ABC challenge... I selected the Letter 'E', and used the song 'Every Day' by Stevie Nicks off her New Album 'Trouble in Shangri - La'...


"Every Day I See you..."  
  
  
  
Written by: Dawn Otstot (AmandaKStetson1 - amandaking_luvs_scarecrow)  
  
Date Written: 01/07/02  
  
Rated: PG  
  
Description: This is a Song Fiction part of the ABC challenge... I selected the Letter 'E', and used the song 'Every Day' by Stevie Nicks off her New Album 'Trouble in Shangri - La'...  
  
This Song Fiction talks place in Lee's thoughts, closer to present day starting on October 26th, 2000.  
  
Special Thanks: To Breezy for agreeing to Beta Read this last minute... And thank you's go to Stemwinder (Heather) for polishing it up before I posted it on FF.net...  
  
  
  
** General Disclaimer ** Scarecrow and Mrs. King and anything there by associated with SMK in this FF, the rights are owned by Warner Brothers Entertainment and Shoot the Moon Enterprises Ltd. ..  
  
The Song belongs Stevie Nicks..  
  
  
  
  
  
Today is October 26th, 2000 and I sit here in my room, no, our room, watching a mirror of painful emotions flowing across my sweet Amanda's face. Her eyes, when they look at me, are void of what used to be the most beautiful part about her, her soul. She shifts through these emotions the same way I used to shift through gears on my old silver Corvette. One minute she is standing by the Bay Window so quiet that it's hard to tell if she's even breathing, staring into the wilderness of our desolate piece of land.  
  
  
  
The next minute I could swear the Tasmanian devil has taken possession of her being, I'm serious when I say this, no joke. Anything within her reach becomes a weapon of mass destruction, she screams in terror like I've never heard before, and hurls what ever she can across the room. The only plus is she never puts me in harm's way, it's as if her instincts take over for just a moment protecting me from her rage. Once she has almost drained herself of the energy she's built up, her body caves from underneath her, and just before she hits the cold floor, I wrap my arms around her waist, guiding her into my lap hoping she will pull the strength from our contact to get through this third phase, which last more then a few hours.  
  
  
  
To say she is crying is too simple of a word, it's as if she's lost at sea, and her body is being thrust from bow to stern. Her small but strong upper torso thrusts hard against my arms while I try to hold her down, she squirms and tries to pull away, then buries her head deep into my shoulder, clasping her hands around my back as if she was trying climb inside of me to hide from life.  
  
  
  
"NO... Oh god Lee...no...how could he take them from me?" She cries out.  
  
But I have no answer for her, I just hold tight and rock her back and forth, trying to soothe her with my voice.  
  
"Shh, shh Amanda...sweetheart, I'm here, it's alright."  
  
I don't think her mind is truly comprehending what I'm saying, but the tone of my voice seems to relax her enough that she finally gives into the sandman. This is the only time I know she's safe from pain, safe from herself. I now place her on our bed and huddle the warm comforter and sheets around her.  
  
Kneeling beside her, I lean my forehead against hers, so we are nose to nose. I then smooth my fingers through her hair, letting my slight tears now shed. By now she is sound asleep, and though I hate leaving her, I make my way downstairs. This I designate for my time to think, to breathe, and to give Jamie the love and attention he needs. He and his wife temporarily live with us until, well, truly I don't know how long, but I'm glad he's here to help us all feel again.  
  
  
  
2 HOURS PASS  
  
In 3 days it's My Amanda's birthday and it's hard saying this, but I don't think she realizes it. But what I think she can sense is that in 3 days it will be the one-month mark since her fight to stay in control began. Since the day of the accident that took our boy Phillip and her beautiful mother away from us.  
  
Phillip had been in town visiting and was on his way back from National, picking Dotty up, when a torrential down poor hit. He was driving my old 'vette, and I believe it must have happened shortly after he called to let us know they might be a bit late getting back. He wanted to take it easy since it was almost impossible to see. According to an eyewitness, they didn't stand a chance. He said our son was making his way through a green light when out of nowhere a full size pick-up t-boned him, running a red light.  
  
  
  
That was the day we lost Amanda, and for the last month through our own grieving, Jamie and I have been trying every way imaginable to help her fight her way back us, to help her live again. The Doctors tried medications, but in my eyes she just fell deeper into her pain. So we took her off of them and truly I don't think she even noticed.  
  
  
  
It was about a week ago when I found myself doing something I never thought I would do in this lifetime. I decide to take a chance, use my resource through The Agency, and Jamie's out in Hollywood to pull together something amazing, from the heart. I guess, it too in a way was also a test, some way to see if maybe we have been taking the wrong approach to show how much we miss her.  
  
  
  
While Jamie sat upstairs with Amanda, I would be in our study writing my feelings, my heart, and how she made me feel inside just simply looking into her eyes each day. I wasn't just merely writing words out on paper, I was singing to her the only way I knew how.  
  
Don't keep me hangin' on a string  
  
Tell me what I feel is no big thing  
  
Don't turn away I'm listening  
  
Over and over again  
  
  
  
And through a miracle it seems, Jamie was able to finish the last piece of the puzzle. He was able to get hold of one of Amanda's favorite artists. Someone I caught her sing along with on the radio many of times: Stevie Nicks. How he was able to get her to agree to read my song, I don't know. I just know in my heart, there is no way I can question how because I will do anything for Amanda and I know he would to.  
  
  
  
Don't give me visions to explain  
  
There are no doubts I feel the strain  
  
Of all my senses yearning  
  
Over and over again  
  
  
  
October 25, 2000  
  
We met with Stevie today and filled her in on why we wanted to enlist in her talents. I could see in Stevie's eyes that she knew we were serious. That she knew exactly what Amanda must be feeling. What we must be feeling to go to these lengths to help her. I gave her bit of background on how Amanda and I met, not revealing what needs to remain 'Need to Know'. As she began to read the words out loud, and I could almost see her shift emotions as she read on. A solitary tear rolled down her cheek, she looked up at Jamie and I,  
  
  
  
"Lee...You've got a deal. When do you need me?"  
  
I think about then was when my heart stopped for a few seconds, and when it returned I felt myself feeling again.  
  
"My wife's birthday is 4 days from now, the 29th... Could you do it then?" She smiled, "Just let me know what time and where and I'll be there."  
  
OCTOBER 28th, 2000 10:00pm  
  
I still can't believe she agreed...Gosh...Yes I know, sounds like something Amanda would say...Well, after almost 15 years of marriage you have to expect that we picked up on some of each others traits. Ok, Ok.... More then a few, but there is definitely nothing wrong with that. She is my love, my joy, and my world. And Stevie Nicks will be  
  
here, in our home not only playing for her, but also singing something I wrote. What amazed me even more was the fact that Stevie wanted nothing in return, 'helping another person heal was more payment than money could ever give', I believe is what she said. I wanted to give her something, so we later agreed that she could have the song, and that it's true origin would remain between the four of us... Actually, I take that back, 6 of us...I know Dotty and Phillip must have played a part somewhere in this little miracle.  
  
OCTOBER 29th, 2000 10:00am  
  
Stevie arrived about 10 minutes ago, and we have been setting up the living room while Amanda has been getting ready. I think even through her pain she can still sense when I'm up to something, cause when I simply asked her to be downstairs by 10:30 she just stared deep into me and said "Ok..".  
  
Jamie's wife Lisa volunteered to make everyone a late breakfast, while Jamie was setting up his camera equipment. My mind begins to wander and my stomach makes it's existence known as the scent of whatever Lisa is preparing wafts my way. But quickly I snap out of it when I hear Amanda making her way downstairs. Stevie motions to her fellow band members to retreat into the kitchen, when she notices me make a hasty retreat to slow Amanda's descent. Amanda looks at me with curiosity when I meet her face to face at the half way point. I grab for her hand, and with out hesitation she reaches for mine and we make our way into the living room.  
  
She now is more curious than before as she 'spies', yah I know, not exactly my favorite word, but it fits right there, the acoustic guitar and the other various pieces of equipment around the room.  
  
"Lee...What's going on?" she says in a soft but inquisitive voice. And before I can open my mouth, it was as if Stevie read my mind. She, as only Stevie Nicks could, entered the room in a way I couldn't even begin to explain, but in such a manner as to not startle Amanda. Within seconds she was standing right next to her, and if I hadn't been there myself I wouldn't have believed it. My keen little operative had no clue she was even there. But it sure doesn't take long, when she notices my shift in facial expressions, she looks to her left, places her right hand over her mouth as she inhales a deep breath, then says her favorite little phrase,  
  
"Oh My Gosh.."  
  
  
  
By the expression on her face I can tell her fight to overcome her loss is strengthening. As things began to register, I could swear she looks from me to Stevie at least five times, then takes a seat on the couch behind her. I too take my seat next to her, and as if on cue Stevie reaches for Amanda's hand and simply says, "Happy Birthday..."  
  
For some strange reason I get the feeling more was said between the ladies, but not on a vocal plain, because Amanda turned to me, studies my face as only she knows how to do, and interlaces my hand with hers.  
  
I think I was too caught up in the warm feeling of Amanda's eyes studying me, because next thing I know an acoustic sound is breaking my reverie, the sensation of my Amanda is wrapped around me as she balanced her chin on my shoulder and tightened her grip around me waist. Stevie has arrived at the verse in my song that says everything about the way I need Amanda to complete me. Ok, Ok...I'll shut up now, so you can hear it too...  
  
  
  
Every day I see you  
  
Every day I need you  
  
Every way I breathe you  
  
On and on and on and on again  
  
It's not important to wonder why  
  
What is just is no more imply  
  
This simple thought repeating  
  
Over and over again  
  
Every day I see you  
  
Every day I need you  
  
Every way I breathe you  
  
On and on and on and on again  
  
Imaging all the ways to cope  
  
I close my eyes, that gives my hope  
  
It cures the silence  
  
Every day I see you  
  
Every day I need you  
  
Every way I breathe you  
  
On and on and on and on again  
  
As the last word of the song is sung, I turn to her finding something I spent a month praying for, in her presence. Jamie has his arms wrapped around her and his head lying on her shoulder. She had repositioned herself so that her head was facing him, but her arms were tugging me to come closer. And instead of tears of pain and anger, she sheds tears of release and that she is ready to move forward.  
  
Don't get me wrong, I know we still have a lot to work through, but now I know she's on her way back to us. A few moments later, Stevie steps up to Amanda, walks her through the kitchen, and the next thing I know she gives her a hug, blows Jamie and I a kiss good-bye, and is gone as quickly as she came.  
  
My best guess is that Stevie must have told her everything that took place this past week, cause just as I finished my thought I noticed Mother and Son releasing from the bear hug of the century, and that beautiful brunette with the most expressive eyes you ever did see is wasting no time and heading my way. She pulls me in tight, molding her body into mine, and whispers 'I Love You, Sweetheart'. As she leans her forehead against mine, she shows me a just how a 'Thank You' kiss was meant to be given...  
  
  
  
Fini 


End file.
